Where I Don't Belong

Yesterday morning, I learned that a good friend of mine died.

In the months before he ended, I could see his health fading as his body became increasingly frail. He commented several times about the matter as if, on some level, he knew his life's story was closing soon. Brian (sometimes "the Bat" as he loved Batman or otherwise Bri) was a unique character in my own story. He was a left-handed bassist who enjoyed music. He joked about not having been a member of the "27 Club", famous musicians who lost their lives at the age of 27 years old. For him, his life really started then. Bri was once very overweight and did the gastric bypass surgery. He gave himself his life. He was not perfect, not by any stretch of the imagination, but he was a loyal friend and a good pal to have. I loved spending long evenings in his company, talking about the musical groups we loved in common. Sometimes, we would both get philosophical about love or life. I will miss his intellect as much as anything he had to share with the world.

We'll never write those songs together, bro. Cheers!

This small eulogy will probably be the only one I get to make regarding him. During the last 36 hours or so, I have attempted to contact our mutual friends and his family alike. I have received the resounding reply that I am not welcomed at any memorial for Brian. Several of our mutual friends and I do not coexist well. While I would try for the sake of his memory, I do not wish to encounter the negativity some of them maintain about him and/or against me. I do not need those attitudes. His family is very Christian and do not like gay people. While Bri was accepting of GLBT people, his family of origin is not at all welcoming. They have demonstrated by ignoring my email that I am not welcomed. I do not go places where I am not wanted. I guess I will have to make due with telling the Bat goodbye in my own private ways.

I hope the next life is easier for you, my friend. You were a good guy and a great friend. You will be missed!